Gorora Imbavu hamwe n’izi Byendagusetsa z’akataraboneka
1.Umugabo yasomye akagwa ka bitoki ashira inyota.
Agerageje guhaguruka biranga aba yituye mu ngarani agaramye. Abo bari kumwe
bose ngo 'kweeeee!' Nawe ati "yeee, ngaho nimukomeze munywe munseka,
ziraza kubica nigaramiye."
2.Naho umusore Rudatinya w'i Karama yagiye
kuvumba i Bweramvura kwa Mushotsi wa Kavuna, yijuse afata agakoni ke
ashogoshera yerekeza iwe. Ageze mu kigunda, abona ibihuru byo mu kigarama
yagendagamo biraza bimusanga, kandi akabona bifite isura y'intare. Abona
byamusatiriye ku buryo ntaho yabihungira nta n'uburyo yabisiga. Ni ko gukubita
ikivugirizo, yongeraho akaririmbo ati "nishyize mu maboko yawe wa ntare we! Nkuragije na roho
yanjye n'umubiri wanjye!"
3.Umutwa wigiraga batisimu yagiye ku bazwa ngo
padiri arebe ko yumvise ibyo ivanjili na Kiliziya bamubwira. Padiri ati ese
Nyina wa Yezu yitwa nde? Ati ariko se mwana wa, ndaba ntazi nyoko uri
umunyarwanda mwene wacu nkamenya nyina wa yezu w’umuzungu? Padiri ntiacika intege ati”ese Yezu
azagaruka?” Umutwa ati ”padi, niba ibyo watubwiye bamukoreye aribyo, agarutse
yaba ashaka kwiyahura”. Barakomeza, akomeza gusubiza neza rwose, padir ati
ariko nku’ubu ahantu heza wumva wagera ukanezerwa nihehe? Undi padi, ”uwanshyira
mu kabindi kuzuye ubuki, nareba hasi ngasoma, nareba hejuru ngasoma,
nahindukira ngasoma, rwose nanezerwa”. Padiri wari witeze yuko avuga yuko yajya
mu ijuru, aba arumiwe, ati genda uzaze ubatizwe. Ati ariko ubundi muzitwa
bande? Undi jyewe nzitwa Yozinyama, umugore Bikira Mariya, umwana yitwe Yezu.
-
Umupasitoro Nzamuvumba wabaga ahantu hitwa i Gitwe, yigeze kwiherera mu nzu
asangira n'abandi ka "coca cola" (kavangiye), asohotse ageze hanze
abona imisozi irimo irazenguruka. Araterura ati "bene data bakundwa,
nimwegere mbigishe dore ibyahanuwe birasohotse". Abo basangiye
bazi yuko atamenyereye ako gasoda, bati "pastoro ba ugarutse mu
nzu"! Ati " mwimbuza guhanura kandi ibyanditswe byasohoye.
Byaravuzwe yuko ku munsi wa nyuma imisozi izimukira indi, none dore Rwabicuma
yimukiye Mpanga, mu kanya murabona za Gacu zibahise imbere!" Ni uko
barakurura bahirikira mu nzu.
-
Umugabo Bagira yigeze gutaha ubukwe iyo mu bakungu, abutaha afite icyaka
cyamuteye umwuma, maze si ugukurura ubupfura arabupfurika. Kera kabaye rero
igihe cyo gutaha kiragera. Ageze hanze abona ibiti biramuhita iruhande
byiruka, abona amazu amunyuze imbere yihuta; akubitiye ku munaniro yifitiye,
yiyicarira hasi, ati ndategerereza hano inzu yanjye nayo buriya iri mu nzira
iransanga hano.
-
Umugore wagiraga inyota akirinda kunywa amazi ngo umuhogo we utavaho umeramo
urubobi, yigeze kugasoma, agashira inyota. Yibutse ibyo gutaha abatura umwana
amukubita umugongo amucuritse. Agiye kumusimbiza aba amukoze mu kanwa, maze
induru ayiha amunwa, ati 'naje mfite umwana w'umuhungu none mwanguraniye?!
-
Umugabo NKUNZABAGABO yanyuze haruguru yo kwa MAYUYA yunva abantu baraganira
munzu baseka cyane . Yali avuye ku rugendo inyota imumereye nabi .Nubwo atali
umumwanyi wa Mayuya alibwira ati reka mpanyure mbavumbe!!!Nuko Nkunzabagabo
yinjira murugo buhoro ageze mu mulyango winzu aliyasira ati mwiliwe yemwe kwa
Mayuya? Mayuya amwunvise ashikuza igicuma umugabo wali ugifite agishyira mu
kwaha mugikoti kirekire yali yambaye nuko arahaguruka ati ntakwilirwa
ntakwilirwa ntacyo tulya!!! Inyota yatumaze none tuliganirira gusa!!
Ubwo Nkunzabagabo abayabagezemo areba iminwa yabo ibobereye ntiyabashira
amakenga ati nubundi nuko tutali duherukanye nali ngukumbuye cyaneee
reka naguhobere dushirane urukumbuzi.
Abivuga
asingira MAYUYA ngo amuhobere (Kuko yali yabonye ko aliwe ufite igicuma
mwikoti) Mayuya yitaza yiyamira ati Sigaho!!! Sigaho !!!
Rekareka!!!UTAMEMERA IKOTI WA MUGABOWE!!!!!
Sinjye
wahera!!!
- Umugore
Mukamuganga yakundaga urwa bitoke. Bukeye baza kumusaba umugeni maze yenga
urwagwa ruryoshye cyane arushyira munsi y'urutara mu kijerekani(jerrican)
kugirango ruhore abashyitsi bazarunywe rumeze neza dore ko rwari rwahiye
ubukwe bushigaje icyumweru ngo bube. Noneho uko amaze kurya ibishyimbo
n'ibijumba ati:"Ese bati none urwagwa rwazabiha umugabo nazamukira?"
Akagenda agashora umuheha mu kijerekani akumviriza ati ruzaryoha ye! Buri
munsi akumva uko rumeze. Bukeye abakwe baraza baricara maze Mukamuganga
anyarukira munsi y'urutara aricara ibicuma akaba yabyogeje mu nkoko bitukura.
Afata igicuma cya mbere cyitwaga Gahogo bari baritiriye umuturanyi wavumbaga
cyane. Afata ikijerikani umunwa awuhamya uw'igicuma asukamo yitonze ariko
habura ikiza arambiwe n'abakwe barambiwe arahaguruka aragenda yegera umugabo
we ati"Mbese urabizi Simo, cya gicuma na cya kijerekani ni mahwi".
Simoni ati "agacuma k'amacupa abiri kanganye gate n'ijerekani ifite
amacupa mirongo itatu?". Umugore bimuyobeye kubisobanura areba hirya
areba hino yirasa mu myugariro dore ko basabaga mu gicuku ngo Padiri atamenya
ko bagiye gushyingiza akabaca amaturo maze ajya iwabo. Habura usabwa hagati
y'umwana na nyina.
- Umuganga wakunda kugasoma yigeze kugakura mu icupa kamukuramo itaburiya. Uti kagire inkuru re! Uko byagenze burya ibara umupfu, ariko umugabo yagize atya yinywera agatama, aragasoma arasusuruka, ariko akomeje karamugarika, icyuya kiramurenga, ururimi rurasohoka, abandi basangiraga baraterura barahutera no kwa muganga bati ba! Umuganga wari ku izamu basanga rero nawe yashize inyota, amukubise igipimo, ati "umuntu yahwereye kare ni mujyane mu nzu y'abitabye Imana (morgue). Baraterura baragenda bashyira iyo, bategerejeko bzagaruka gutwara umurambo bukeye. Nyamugabo wawe rero uko yakaryamye aho muri icyo kizu gikonje kubi, inzoga ziratangira zimushimuramo, ati "wa mugore we ko imbeho inyishe wanyoroshe!" Akabakabye yumva ari wenyine, akoze ku ruhande abura icyo afata, yumva ayobewe aho ari. Aba akoze mu mufuka akuramo ikibiriti, dore ko yatumuraga n'agatabi, agize ngo aracana abona ari hagati y'abapfu. Induru ayiha umunwa, yirukira ku rugi aratangira arahondagura. Maramuko wari uraye izamu aba avugije induru ati ni mutabare abapfu barwanye, ni mutabare, ni mutabare, yeee! Abarwayi iyo ku bitanda bahubuka biruka bahunga abo bazimu barwanira mu nzu y'abapfu. N'ubu hari abakiruka. - Burya ijoro ribara uwariraye koko, ariko burya n'inyota ugira uwanyoye. Dore nawe muri cya gihe zitwikiraga ijoro zigatera u Rwanda muribuka yuko hashyizweho za bariyeri zo kuzikumira. Ariko rero hari izashoboya gucengera maze zihemukira benshi. Umugabo Baziruwiha rero wari utuye i Mbazi ya Butare niwe waribara. Yagize atya arakumanukira aturutse mu mugi wa Butare, zimaze kumugira ayo ifundi igira ibivuzo, maze ageze ahateganye na stade Huye asanga abajandarume bahashyize bariyeri, yitegereza ukuntu baharika buri muntu bamubaza ibyangombwa, yumvise ananiwe, ati "mwese mushyire amaboko hejuru!" Abajandarume imbunda baba bazijugunye iriya amaboko barayamanika, tutavuze nyine n'abo bagenzi bari baraho. Umugabo ahita akubitwa agatwenge, ati "ese burya namwe muba mufite ubwoba!?" Abajandarume baba baramwadukiriye baramukibita. Aha barambiriwe, bati "ngaho nigitahe". Undi arahindukira asubira mu mugi. Bati ko udatashye se? Undi, ati "iyi nyota munteye ntiyatuma ngerayo, nbgiye kubanza nishumbushe rimwe"!.
- Umugabo Gitariro wo mu Bugarama yaguhubukiye
iyo ngiyo ajya gusura umukobwa warongowe iyo bita i Burayi. Agezeyo mwa
bagabo mwe, mbega! Nta gasina kahaba nta dusaka ngo yenge akagage maze inyota
iramujujubya. Cyakora umukobwa we akamugurira urwagwa rwaho rwasaga
n'umutuku. Gitariro akarwanga kubi ngo nta muneke rwose ni barukatamo. Ni uko
kera kabaye imbeho iraza dore ko itajya ihabura. Gitariro ahera mu nzu.
Bukeye akazuba karava umukobwa we ati tujye guhaha nkwereke n'isoko ry'ino
ryitwa karefuru uzabwire n'abaturanyi ko watembereye. Baragenda binjira muri
iryo soko riruta ayandi mu Bufaransa. Barahaha maze Gitariro ngo yakarabukwa
aho za byeri ziterekanze amera nk'ukubiswe n'inkuba yanga kongera gutera
ikirenge yumira aho ari. Umukobwa we ati tugende dore umugabo wanjye agiye
kuva ku kazi; abuzukuru bati tugende sogokuru dore mu kanya hari
amashusho avuga (dessin animé). Gitariro akica amatwi. Aza gucunga umukobwa
ahugiye mu mapantaro dore ko ibiciro byari byagabanyijwe(solde) maze yirasa
muri byeri ashikuzamo agakarito ka henikeni(heinekein) 24. Arakanaguzwa abona
hirya ye akazu gafunguye yirasa nk'urukwavu rwambuka umuhanda. Aho hakaba
hari mu kazu bigeragamo imyenda kari kuzuye abari n'abategarugori bigeraga
imyenda y'imbere ihendutse mu igabanya ry'ibiciro. Barabutswe Gitariro
winjiye avuga Mpa,mpa ni angahe (donnes donnes c'est combien?) birukira
rimwe imyambaro bayikinga hasi no hejuru amatako
bayabangira ingata ariko Abimukira bashishoza niba hari itandukanyirizo
ry'Abablondes n'Ababrunes cyakora basanga bose barazimyoye
bati"yaaa"! Amasoko arahurura Gitariro yibereye mu kazu kuri
manyinya. Aho Polisi iziye anketi zirakorwa habura ufatwa cyakora Gitariro
basanga yari yarishwe n'inyota. Nyiri isoko ati Gitariro rero reka nguhe
akazi dore amasoko yose yahuruye none abaguzi babaye benshi ejo uzaze
utangire ukore ujye ushyira ziriya byeri aho abaguzi bazitagaguza bahitamo.
Gitariro aratangira arakora ariko ku munsi wa kabiri atangira kuririmba
ati"Karefuru tuzagutora.............kugeza ubwo Abazimyamuriro bahageze
basanga yumye kera bamujyana amaguru adakora hasi tuyoberwa irengero rye.
- Umugabo Bazumvampehe yagiye ku kazi yasinze, noneho umukoresha we Gasyampeke ararakara cyane, ati koko nta soni ufite zo kuza ku kazi wasinze? Undi ati: “rwose urandenganya ibi byose ni muganga wabiteye!” Umukoresha we ati : “nonese muganga ni we wakwinitse mu nzoga?”. Undi ati: “rwose ejo nagiye kwa muganga mbabara mu nda, noneho anyandikira umuti ngomba kugura; ariko uzi ukuntu nawe bandika. Icyo nabashije gusoma ku rupapuro rero ni ahanditse amacupa abiri, n'ahandi handitse gatatu ku munsi. Urumva nawe ibyakurikiyeho”. - Rwiyamirira, Kagozi na Bwenge bahagurutse Cyarubare bajyana gusura munywanyi wabo Sezikeye wari utuye Sovu na Sibagire. Barenga imisozi baterera iyindi, bamaze guhinguka Shyogo na Shyanda ijoro riba riraguye. Ni bwo bigiriye inama yo kujya gucumbika ku rugo bari babonye hafi yabo. Wagira ngo Bwenge yahise amenya ko ba nyir'ururugo barangije gufungura, cyakora hasigaye utwo bararije abana. Bene urugo babaza abo bagenzi uko bitwa, abandi bavuga amazina yabo bageze kuri Bwenge ati "nitwa Abashyitsi." Nyir'urugo abanza kwicara arabaganiriza, hashize akanya abwira ab'iwe ati "ngiye kuruhuka, none zana twa turyo twari twararije abana uhe abashyitsi." Ibiryo bimaza kuza Bwenge abwira bagenzi be ati "bavuze ko bagaburira abashyitsi kandi ni jyewe witwa gutyo, ubwo mwebwe muraba mutegereje, buriya barabatekera ibyanyu. Si bwo Bwenge abiriye wenyine! Hashize akanya nyir'urugo arongera ahamagara umugore ati "ndakeka twa turyo twabaye iyanga, reba na ya mineke iri ku rusenge na yo uyihe abashyitsi." Imineke barayizana, Bwenge ati "mwumvise ko iyi na yo ari iy'abashyitsi, ubwo mwe murakomeza kuba mutegereje." Erega imineke na yo Bwenge ayihinaho wenyine. - Kera amajyambere ya kizungu ataratwinjiramo muzi ko abantu basangiriraga ku nkoko akenshi babaga bashasheho agakoma. Muri icyo gihe rero umugabo Rwitsibagura yasangiraga n'abandi, aza kubona intongo z'inyama yifuzaga batazishyize imbere ye. Ni bwo ateruye agira ati "burya ibyaduka ni ibyaduka koko, ndetse biragatsindwa. Yewe, dushatse twajya twigendeshereza amaguru!" Abandi baba barekeye aho kurya kugira ngo bamutege amatwi. Ni bwo akomeje ati "murabona ya modoka Rupangu aherutse kugura: yari ituroshye pe! Ubwo twagiye tugeze ahantu mu ikoni imodoka sinakubwira ijya iyi ijya iriya, umutima udushigukamo." Abandi bati "ayi we ! Ubwo se disi mwaje gukizwa n'iki?" Rwitsibagura ati "mwareka nkababaria ye ! Umudereva yerekanye ko azi umwuga we. Yafashe diregisiyo y'imodoka maze arayikubanura, arayiykubanura, arayikubanura kugeza ubwo imodoka yongeye kugenda neza. Mbese yabigenje nka gutya." Ibyo erega ubwo yabivugaga ari na ko akubanura inkoko kugeza ubwo za ntongo yifuzaga zimugeze imbere! - Igihe kimwe urugo rwa Serupfipfinyurimpyisi rwari rwatetse ibiryo biryoshye cyane. Noneho bukeye mu ighe umugore atari mu rugo, umugabo aza kwegera agakono kari karimo ibyo baraje. Ni bwo ashatse kukihindaho mu gihe abandi badahari. Ariko aza kubona biza kuba igisebo umugore cyangwa abana baje bagasanga ari kuri uwo murimo. Ni bwo abebetanye agakono no mu mu mubyuko w'amasaka kugira ngo abe ari ho arira yihishe. Akihagera asanga ni ho umugore ari, arimo gusoroma igisusa n'umushogoro. Umugore arumirwa, umugabo akorwa n'ikimwaro ariko agerageza kuhikura ati "kubera nshaka kwihuta nasanze nintegereza ko urangiza ngo uze mu rugo ungaburire ndi bwice gahunda mfitanye na ba Binama. Nanze rero kukurindira, ni yo mpamvu nari nzanye inkono ngo umpeho ibyanjye mfungure vuba ngende." - Umugabo RUKUBAYIHUNGA wabaga i Bujumbura mu Ngagara, yakundaga ubugari cyane ku buryo yajyaga yitegereza ikiyaga cya Tanganyika, akareba n'igisozi cyegamiye Bujumbura, ati " maze umunsi umwe ngakanguka ngasanga uriya musozi wabaye ubugari n'aho Tanganyika yabaye isosi! Rwakwambikana ndakubwiye!" Kuvuga burya ni ugutaruka reka dukomeze. Uwo mugabo rero Rukubayihunga yari afite ingeso yuko yabanzaga kurya, yarangiza abana bakabona kugaburirwa. Reka rero umunsi umwe umugore we Madalena abe amaze kuvuga ubugari, igihe amaze gukaraba yitegura kwihereza haze umuntu wamushakaga. Atinya kumwinjiza mu nzu ngo batavaho basangira ubwo bugari, amusanga hanze. Ariko mbere yo gusohoka asiga yanditse izina rye ku bugari, maze rirakunda rirabuzenguruka dore ko atari rigufi. Umugore we abonye atinze hanze, akata kuri bwa bugari agaburira abana ngo badasinzira batariye. Mu gukata umugore akuraho Yihunga. Kera kabaye Rukubayihunga asezera ku mushyitsi we yinjira mu nzu. Agize ngo arareba ku bugari asanga babukaseho maze induru ayiha umunwa. Agataka ahamagara umugore, ati "yewe Madalena we, ko ndeba Rukuba, Yihunga yagiye hehe?!" Abaturanyi bamwumvise bati "uriya mugabo ashobora kuba yasaze. None se Rukubayihunga arabaza aho Rukubayihunga yagiye?" - Ku wa gatanu mtatagatifu, umukristu yagiye gusura abapadiri kuri paruwasi maze abashyira inkoko y'isake iteye amabengeza. Kubera ko paruwasi yari nini, abapadiri bari bagabanye za santrali, kuri paruwasi hasigaye umwe wakundaga akaboga kurusha sakabaka. Akimara gusezera kuri uwo mukristu, abwira umukozi ko agomba guhita abaga iyo sake. Ariko igihe padiri yari mu sakrisitiya arimo yitegura kujya gusoma misa, umukozi aba araje, ati "ya nkoko nayibuze"! Padiri bimutera agahinda n'umujinya, ahita amubwira ngo nawe naze mu misa dore ntacyo afite cyo gukora. Ubwo misa iratangira, bararirimba karahava, igihe cyo gusoma ivanjiri kiba kirageze. Padiri, ati "numuhorane Imana!", abandi barasubiza. Arakomeza, ati "amagambo yo mu ivanjiri ntagatifu, uko yanditswe na (aba abonye ya nkoko itambagira hanze) dore ya nkoko"! Umukozi aba arahindukiye koko arayibona, asohoka mu misa itarangiye ajya kuyitunganya. Kera kabaye rero misa irahumuza, padiri asuhuza abakristu ariko umutima uri ahandi, kuko yatekerezaga ya nkoko. Reka rero agere ku meza, umukozi azanye inkoko, padiri ayikubise amazi amaso yuzura akanwa, nari mvugishijwe, yayikubise amaso amazi yuzura akanwa. Amaze gushimira iryo funguro ryazanywe n'umukristu, agiye gukoramo, umukozi, ati "nyamara uyu munsi nta muntu wari kurya inyama kuko ari ku wa gatanu mutagatifu!" Padiri, ati " irukira mu kiliziya unzanire amazi y'umugisha nkwereke". Umukozi aba amuzaniye amazi, padiri wawe asuka duke kuri ya nkoko, ati " wa nkoko we, ubu ndakubatije uhindutse ifi". Ni uko padiri aryoherwa n'inkoko yahindutse ifi. - Umugabo Ngunda yagize atya akurira imineke arangije arenzaho salade. Ntihashize isaha imwe gusa aba arengejeho ibijumba byokeje. Hatari hashira iminota 30 aba aroshyeho ibigori bitetse. Mu nda sinakubwira ibiyoka bitangira gutongana. Ngunda ati "ngo ubwo rero izi nzoka rirampima. Ntibimbuza gukomeza kwihera inda." Akomeza kuryagagura buri kanya. Uko aryagagura inzoka zikarushaho kwitotomba, arambiwe akora ku nda abwira ibivugiramo ati "mbahaye igice cy'isaha mukaba mwumvikanye, mwakwanga nkabasohora." Umugabo yikomereza umurimo we wo gutera imere. Mu nda na byo biranga , ni bwo umugabo atangiye kumisha indabo hirya no hino, ari byo bamwe bita gutera ibiro. Maze areba ibyo amaze kuruka ati "sinari nababwiye ko nimutumvikana mbasohora? Mwagira ngo sinabivugaga nkomeje?" - Umugabo wagiraga amerwe yageze ahantu babaze inka, akubise amaso inyama , ati" ese uriya munzani n'inyama?" Abandi, bati "kweee!!!!!!!!" Aba ararakaye, ati "nonese ko mutansubiza kiriya kilo ni inyama?" Noneho si uguseka bavayo. Umugabo, ati "ahaaa, ndabona abatize inyama murushya!" Umuminisitiri wo mu rwa Gasabo yaragiye yegera umukuru w'igihugu mu rwego rwo kwihakirwa, ati "ibigambo biri hanze aha birandambiye. Uzi ukuntu twumvikana ariko icyakubwira ibyo rubanda barocangwamo. Uzi ko bavuga ngo jye namwe ntitwumvikana, ngo mbese tumeze nk'injangwe n'imbwa?" Nuko umukuru w'igihugu ati "mbese ni uko bavuga? Ubwo se bashaka kuvuga ko ari jye ari nawe injangwe ari nde?" Wa muminisitiri biramushobera ariko aza kuhikura, ati "ubwo injangwe baba bavuga ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika." Perezida ati "ibyo ndabyumva neza, ariko se dukomeje gato, noneho ubwo ni ukuvuga ko imbwa baba bavuga ari nde?" Minisitiri noneho biramushobera. Cyakora arikokora ati "ubwo imbwa na yo ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika."
- Umugabo yari afite resitora maze bikaba ngombwa
ko yumva niba abatetsi batetse neza. Batangira kugabura bose bakanyuza ibyo
bagabuye kuri kontwari ajombamo ikanya yumva maze yabona isahani igabuye neza
ati"ca hano sha, shyira ibyo biryo hariya umuguzi umugaburire
ibindi". Abakozi bakahagorerwa kuko iyo resitora abategetsi benshi
bayiriragamo uko ibiryo bitinze kugera ku mutegetsi ugasanga abakozi benshi
bagiye mu munyururu. Bigatera ikibazo kuko abakozi ntibashoboraga kubwira abo
bategetsi ko ibiryo byabo(babagaburira ) birya shebuja kandi ntibashoboraga
no kubuza shebuja guhitamo mu bye. Bukeye biga ubwenge bwo guteka indyo
yitwaga "Bizikora". Basekura urusenda shebuja yagiye kurangura
ibitoki n'amakamyo i Kibungo. Aho agarukiye bukeye bararuteka, isosi yarwo
itukura rwose isa na bike uyibonye wese amazi akuzura akanwa ariko nyine
ntawari ufite uburenganzira bwo kumva ko biryoshye uretse nyiri resitora.
Ibitoki bivuye ku Rusumo, birotswa amafiriti arashya maze baragabura. Ibiryo
bitangira kumvwa. Ya sosi"Bizikora" iza ishashagirana nyiri
resitora ayirabutswe abwira umukozi ati"dore uko gisa!Ni nde ugiye
kugaburira usa utyo? Cyo jya koga". Umukozi ajya koga bwa kabiri dore ko
yagiraga isuku ariko amerwe ya shebuja washakaga kurigisa igisorori cy'isosi
akamutuka umwanda. Aho umukozi agendeye shebuja yinaga inyuma ya kontwari
igisorori agihamya umunwa. Ntihashize isegonda hirya mu cyumba bariramo bumva
ngo" Reeeeeeeeeee". Bahuruye basanga umugabo wapimaga hafi ibiro
maganabiri yabize icyuya cyamurenze, ijosi ritava aho rireba nk'urwaye
mugiga! Ubwo burugumesitiri yari yaje mu ba mbere kurya ku gitoki kivuye i
Kibungo dore ko i Tumba cyahageraga rimwe mu cyumweru. Ati"yewe reka
abacuruzi babyibuhe bazira byinshi! Muzi iminsi nabwiriwe kubera uyu mugabo,
naze abe aruhukira mu kasho dore yicishije akarere inzara".
-
Kera Impyisi yigeze kugendana n'umugabo Bagira bagiye gufata igihe
ibwami, bageze mu nzira imvura irabanyagira irababoza. Kubw'amahirwe babona
aho bikinga, noneho wa mugabo (dore ko nta mugore wafataga igihe) atangira
guhuha ku ntoki, ariko azikaraga. Impyisi, iti " ese uri mu biki?"
Umugabo, ati "ndi guhuha intoki ngo ndebe ko zashyuha". Aho
imvura igenjereje make bakomeza urugendo, bumaze kwira bajya gushaka icumbi.
Bacumbika ku mugabo Bucyanayandi, basanga batetse inyama babaha umufa
ushyushye cyane ngo ubamaremo imbeho. Bagira aba afashe imbehe atangira
guhuha. Impyisi, iti " noneho se kandi urahuha iki?"
Bagira, ati "ndagira ngo uyu mufa uhore mbone uko nywunywa".
Imbyisi iramwitegereza, iti "ndumiwe burya abantu muraruhije. Nonese
koko guhuha ibishyushye n'ibikonje! Ahaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Kera amapfa yarateye
imyaka iruma mu mirima n'amariba menshi arakama. Umugabo Jyamubandi , umugore
we n'abana bagatungwa no kurya ubusabusa ku buryo abana baryaga ibijumba gusa
imboga zarabaye imboneka rimwe. Kera kabaye haza imiryango myishi gutabara
akarere bari batuyemo maze babaha ibishyimbo. Bose bari bararambiwe kurya
ibijumba dore ko n'amazi nyine yari imboneka rimwe bitavaga mu muhogo. Aho
ibishyimbo bibonekeye Jyamubandi asanga ari bike maze abwira umugore we
ati" Bariya bana baracyari bato bashoboye kurya ibijumba ntuzabampere
udushyimbo ntituzi igihe imvura izagwira ntazabura imbuto baturiye tugashira.
Umugore abika udushyimbo ariko akajya akoraho duke akadutekera Jyamubandi.
Kugira ngo abana batazibagirwa uko ibishyimbo bimera akabatekera ibijumba
abigeretse ku bishyimbo. Ni uko umunsi umwe bajya kurya uko bisanzwe, se
w'abana yicara hariya n'udushyimbo ku gasahani, abana na nyina bajya hariya
n'ibijumba byabiriwe. Umwana muto muri bo aza kurabukwa igishyimbo kiza cyari
cyafashe ku kijumba arakitegereza ariko ntiyakirya. Ni uko aragifata akinaga
n'ingufu nyishi ku isahani ya se ati"jya mu bindi nawe, waje ute aha?"
Se w'umwana ashigukira hejuru yumvise igishyimbo kibaraje ku isahani dore ko
yari ayigerereye! Induru ayiha umunwa ati “noneho amarozi yatumye imvura
itagwa bayataye mu isahani yanjye.” Ariruka ngo agiye kuraguza maze wa
mwana ati “ndabirya dore igihe nabirebeshereje amaso gusa.” Udushyimbo umwana
araturya maze se aho agarukiye aza avuga ati “namenye ko Rubwa utuye munsi
y'urugo rwanjye ariwe wari ugiye kundoga.” Umwana ati “Rubwa yagorwa yagorwa!
Nashatse gushyira igishyimbo mu bindi maze kuko wari uhuze ugira ngo kivuye
hejuru none ngo Rubwa!” Kuva ubwo Jyamubandi abwira umugore ati “teka
ibishyimbo byose bisigaye abana barye bahage ejo batazanterurana n'isahani.”
- Abagabo babiri bagiye
kunywa ikawa maze bageze muri kafe(café) , bamaze kubaha ikawa umwe muri bo
asomyeho abwira ushinzwe kuyitanga(le serveur) ati" Musore(garçon,)
iyi ni yo mwita ikawa ikaze(café fort)?” Umusore utanga ikawa ati"
Yego nyakubahwa kandi ikimenyetso simusiga cyarekana ko ari kawa ikaze ni uko
usomyeho rimwe ugata umutwe(une seule gorgée a suffi pour vous énerver)!
- Abategetsi babiri bavuye mu gihugu cy'ibiyaga
bigari baje mu mishyikirano(ubutumwa bwa leta yabo) yo kwaka imfashanyo
i Burayi. Hari mu itumba
rikaze(hiver) abantu bose batitira. Ni uko umwe muri za ntumwa abwira mugenzi
we ati"Urabizi , ntangiye kubura ijwi kubera imbeho".
Mugenzi we wari umukuru w'intumwa(chef de délégation) ati" ibyo
nabyo, ngwino turebe aho turya ikintu gishyushye noneho mu kanya uze kubasha
gusobanura ubukene bwugarije igihugu cyacu". Binjira muri resitora
nziza ihenze cyane baricara maze babazanira igipapuro cy'ibiribwa biboneka
muri iyo resitora(menu). Barazenguruka: a)Umuceri , oya iwacu urahaba kandi
ntuba ushyushye cyane, b)isupu y'inyama, oya ino haba indwara y'inka
zisara(vache folle). Kera kabaye barabukwa ahanditse z) Artichaut bati
yaaaaaaaa, urabona ngo ibi babishyire kure kandi aribyo bishyushye! Ni uko
bahamagara serviri bati “nyarutsa tudakererwa inama zana artichaut.” Arabazanira
bwangu. Ngo bagakubita amaso artichaut basimbukira rimwe bati'Urabona
ngo badusuzugure bashake kutugaburira imigwegwe kandi iwacu n'inka zitayona".
Sibwo babakaciye bitabye burigadi gusobanura ko bakomanze bagacika
batishyuye. Cyakora basobanurira burugadiye w'i Burayi ko bashakaga ikintu
gishyushye babona artichaut bagakeka ko ari ubwoko bw'indyo ishyushye cyane.
Barabarekura ariko inama bajemo ntibayijyamo kuko Minsitiri w'imali wagombaga
kubakira yabonye hashize amasaha ane bataje nawe yigira mu nama muri Loni.
Icyitonderwa:
Artichaut ni igihingwa cy'i Burayi kiribwa ariko kitaba muri Afrika, cyenda
kumera nk'umugwegwe wanze gukura.Igice cya artichaut kiribwa(comestible)
kikitwa "capitule", ibindi bice byayo ntibiribwe. Bagabo barabona
rwose babonye artichaut bashaka plat chaud.
- Umugore yagiye
kuzirika isekurume mu gasozi, agarutse mu gugo ashyira ibishyimbo ku ziko.
Hashize akanya yumva aranyotewe, ni bwo agiye kwivumbira yibwira ko ari
bugaruke vuba. Ageze iyo avumba ibiganiro biraryoha, urwagwa ruratubuka. Si
bwo ijoro ririnze kugwa atari yataha ngo ahishe ibishyimbo acyure
n'isekurume. Hagati aho umugabo yaje kuza yongera amazi mu nkono ateka
ibishyimbo birashya yandurura n'ibintu byose. Nyamugore atahutse, akora ku
nkono y'ibishyimbo asanga byahiye. Ati "yooo, ibintu byikoze, dore bya
bishyimbo byitetse." Agiye gukinga amadirishya yasize afunguye
asanga arafunze. Ati "reba rwose n'amadirishya yifunze!" Ajya hanze
kureba amamera yari yasize yanitse arayabura, agenzuye neza asanga ari mu
ntebo mu mfuruka. Ati" reba rwose na ya mamera yiyanuye!" Ubwo
agenda agana ahari uburiri ariko mu nzu ntihabonaga neza. Agenda akorakora
aba akoze mu bwanwa bw'umugabo we wari aryamye, ariyamirira ati "yewe,
koko ibintu bya hano byose byiikoze, dore na cya Ruhaya nasize nziritse mu
gasozi cyicyuye !! Mbega ibintu byiza!!"
- Umugabo Mvuyekure yakuviriye ku Gikongoro
n'umugore n'urubyaro ati"ngiye gutura ku Rusumo niho hera imyaka
hakiboneka n'amasambu meza yo guhinga". Arakugendera agerayo aca indaro
aratura. Abaturanyi baramusura baramuzimanira bati kaze neza ndetse bamutiza
n'ibikoresho byo gutema ishyamba ngo ahinge dore ko ku Gikongoro yari
yaravuye yahingaga agataka kangana urwara atazi uko batema ishyamba. Kera
kabaye atema umukenke ku nkombe aza gukubitana n'imvubu ikutse uruzi
iti"wa mugabo we uva he ukajya he?" Wa mugabo wawe utari
yarigeze arabukwa inyamaswa y'agasozi ati "iyi ngurube ishobore kuba
icitse wa muturanyi wanjye ejo wanshomeje ku rwagwa". Aragenda
gahoro gahoro ngo agufatire ya mvubu ayicyamure ayerekeza kwa munywanyi we!
Imvubu yakumenyereye ko isanganizwa amacumu n'ibitosho iti"kaze neza".
Iritunatuna yikora mu matako irekura igice cya toni maze umugabo ayo
mazirantoki amugezeho amera nk’utwitswe n'amazi abira benda gusongesha
umutsima. Arebye hejuru asanga yapfukiriwe abura uko atabaza. Agerageza
guhamagara ab’iwe ati" Yemwe yemwe kwa Mvuyekure, yaba
Mukamvuyekure yaba umwana unyumva nimuntabare mfashwe n'imvubu!!”! Ubwo
abaturanyi bari bumvise impumeko y'imvubu irekurira amazirantoki kuri
Mvuyekure bose barahurura bakwira inkombe z'uruzi ngo itabacika dore ko
bakundaga umufa wayo. Bamwumvise basekera rimwe bati"akabi ni ukuza
guhaha ukazira kariya kageni. Ubona nibura iyo imufata
ntimwitumeho ngo imusuzugure kariya kageni!” Barasimbuka bamukura
munsi y'icukiro maze Mvuyekure ati"Data wamenya ngo yarazi
ibizambaho!!!! ayi weeeeeeeee, nimumpoze ndi gushyaaaaaa!” Baramuhoza
agizengo arorohehewe habe no gusezera ku mugore n'abana batari bakamenya
ibyabaye kuri Mvuyekure; ntiyarara i Rusumo asubira kwibohera ibitebo i
Gikongoro ati" Utazi ivubura ry'imvubu ajye ayiganira!!”
- Umugabo Kinyogote yakuviriye mu Ndorwa ajya gusura mucuti we Katabirora wari utuye i Bwishaza. Kinyogote ageze mu nzira, Katabirora amuhamagara kuri twa duterefoni bagendana mu ntoki. Aramubwira ati "uze kwihangana urasanga tudahari." None reka nkurangire uko ugera iwanjye. Nugera ku irembo, nta kibazo umuzamu aragukingurira. Urugi rwinjira mu nzu na rwo nta kibazo rugutera, twahaye umuzamu urufunguzo nta aragufungurira. Ikibazo ni ukuntu ugera mu cyumba cy'uruganiriro ngo uze kuba wiruhukira. Numara kwinjira mu nzu uratambika mu kirongozi, nugera imbere ukate ibumoso noneho uze kubona urugi rusize irangi ry'icyatsi kibisi. Narwo ntirufunze, ariko byakurushya kurufungura kuko umuzamu adashobora kwinjira mu nzu ngo agufashe. Ubwo uraza kuzamura nk'ikirenge ufatishe kuri serrure ufungure. Cyangwa se wakoresha n'inkokora." Kinyogote ati "ese ndinda nkoresha ikirenge cyangwa inkokora kubera iki, kandi mfite intoki?' Katabirora ati "niba ari ibyo subira inyuma utahe iwanyu. Jye nari nzi ko izo ntoki zose ziba zicigatiye urwagwa n'andi mafunguro unzaniye, bityo ntubone uko ufungura. None ndumva ugomba kuba uje imbokoboko. Abashyitsi nkawe ntibisanga kwa Katabirora ka Ruzagiriza ."
- Umugabo wari
warayogoje akarere yagiye kwiba noneho ajyana umwaku. Ageze aho yiba asanga bamwiteguye bamutera
igitosho ubura buraza. Sibwo asubiye iwe yandara. Umugore we yari yasigaye
yaritse amazi yo gusonga ubugari ngo ngaha umugabo we arazana imboga. Umugabo
arataha ageze ku rugi iwe arakomanga.
Umugore ati “ni
nde?
” Umugabo ati ni jyewe.” “Uzanye iki?” “Nzanye ubura.” Umugore ati “zana mugabo nkunda nabwo burya ubugari.” Ngo yakwinjira umugore asanga ni intere, amazi yo kuvuga ubugari arayamukandisha.
-
Bihehe yagiye kwicuza ibyaha kwa Padiri, noneho irondora ibyaha byayo,
igeza aho ivuga yuko yariye intama z'abandi. Igihe ikibivuga ibona izindi
zirahise, iti "padiri ngirira vuba dore izindi zirancitse"
Ntacyo nakongeraho mana yanjye. Ariko rero ntabwo nshatse kuba nk'uyu mukobwa. - Umukobwa yateze lift imuvana i Kampala agana i Kigali, kubw'amahirwe ikamyo irahagarara iramutwara. Kubera kuremererwa yagendaga buke bituma barara nzira kabiri kose. Bari kugera i Kigali, umukobwa nibwo ateruye, ati "buriya ejo nzahita njya kwicuza icyaha cy'uko nasambanye gatatu". Umushoferi, ati "kereka niba hari undi wari wahaye kuko jyewe twabikoze kabiri gusa!" Umukobwa amusubiza ababaye cyane, ati "ubu se koko turatandukana tutongeye?!" - Abana babiri bwacyaga haba noheli ariko bakibazacyane niba Papa Noheli aza kubaha utugare. Ni uko bageze ku buriri batangira gusinzira ariko bikanga batekereza niba Papa Noheli ari bubahe utwo tugare. Ni uko umuto muri bo aratangira ati"Papa Noheli rwose wampaye akagare". Undi ati "ceceka Papa Noheli aba azi neza icyo aha ho buri mwana kado". Umuto wari wataye umutwe ati"urabeshya hari ubwo yibeshya agatanga icyo abonye cyose". Barahana barahana aho bigeze umwana muto avuga cyane ati"Papa Noheli ndashaka igare". Mukuru ati" vuga gahoro udakangura nyogokuru Napa Noheli ntiyapfuye amatwi". Murumuna we ati"Papa Noheli ntiyapfuye amatwi ariko nyogokuru we yarayapfuye agomba kumva icyo nshaka atava aho ampa umwanana nk'ubushize". - Umushakashatsi yinjiye mu ishyamba maze akubitana n'intare. Akanura maremare maze arivugisha ati"Mana yanjye ukore ku buryo iyi ntare igutekereza kandi ibe yarabatijwe"! Intare nayo iti"Mana iri funguro urihe umugisha". - Umugore n'umugabo bavuye i Nyamirambo bagiye muri wikendi(week-end ) i Cyangugu bihuta dore ko bakundaga ibitoki byaho byokeje na brosheti. Ni uko umugabo akaba yari afite imodoka imaze iminsi ivuye muri garaji. Imodoka ayiha umwuka n'umuriro maze mu muhanda ivumbi ribura agatebo. Umugore agira ubwoba abonye ko umugabo we yirukaga cyane asiga ibiti n'umuyaga. Abwira umugabo ati "uritonde mu makoni mfite ubwoba sheri, ntiwongere gukata utagabanyije vitensi mfite ubwoba bwo kugwa kandi nshobora kugwa munsi y'umuhanda". Umugabo ubwo yumvaga bimugoye kuko imodoka yari yayiririmbishije karahava. Ni uko nyamugabo asubiza umugore we ati" kora nkanjye kugirango utagira ubwoba". Umugore avuga cyane ati"sinumva ibyo uvugaaaa". Umugabo ati "funga amaso mu ikoni nkanjye ntacyo uba". Umugore ati"mbabarira ufungure amaso ntituri mu cyumba sheriiiiiiiiiiiiiii". - Umusaza Kigunu yakundaga kwimeza neza muri resitora no mu kabari (bar-restaurant)"Umunezero" ariko agakunda kubara buri gihe ibiceri bamugaruriye ngo hato batazamwiba. Ni uko bukeye aragenda ararya aranywa uko bisanzwe muri bari -resitora. Amaze kurya arishyura gisirimu dore ko abamuzi bavugaga ko afite za miliyari aryamira adashobora no kubitsa muri banki y'abaturage ngo ngaha batazayamuryana abasore n'inkumi bazikoragamo. Amaze kwishyura umusore wamugaburiye wamuhaye n'icyo kunywa amuzanire ibiceri bisigaye bigeze ku miya ebyiri. Ubwo yari amaze isaha azitegereje dore ko kuwa gatandatu habaga huzuye abaguzi. Wa musore ati"muzehe naraye ndose umpa igiceri cy'abiri"! umusaza ajya mu ry’agaca ati"abiri yoseee, ni menshi cyane"! Umusaza areba hirya areba hino biramuyobera aho akoze mu mufuko w'imbere n'uw’inyuma akahasanga inoti, mu makoti agasangamo ibiceri by'atanu ni uko bimuyobeye ati" Ntako nabigenza nabuze ubusa ayo mfite yose arabara none jyana izo miya". - Muribuka wa mubwirizabutumwa bababwiye ubushize? Turavuga umwe wagiye mu bukwe akinywera ku "bushera" burimo ka kabanga ke, yagira ngo aratashye akabona imisozi izenguruka akagaruka aho yari avuye mu bukwe ati "muze murebe ibyahanuwe birasohoye! Bibiliya yera yavuze ko mu bihe bya nyuma imisozi izahura igahoberana none ngaha birabaye." Reka dukomereze aho tubabwire ko bamaze kongera kumuherekeza bakamugeza ku gishanga ngo yambuke ajya ku musozi w'iwe. Yabaye agikandagiza ikirenga cya mbere mu gishanga rero aba yihonze hasi. Ntagize ngo arabyuka, ayoberwa aho yerekezaga. Ntiyivuna abitekerezaho akomeza urugendo, yerekeza aho abyutse areba. Ageze imbere yumva abantu basakabaka, ati "nkajya kureba, wasanga aho hantu habaye ibirori nkongera nkabona aho niganirira n'ubundi bariya bashenzi baransagariya bansezerera vuba." Agezeyo ikimwaro kiramukora kuko yasanze ari hamwe yahoze mu bukwe! Byatewe n'uko amaze kugwa yabyutse akerekeza aho abyutse areba ntamenye ko asubiye aho avuye! - Umugore yinjiye muri kabari maze arabukwa umugabo wari wambaye zahabu ku maboko , ku ntoki no mu josi maze aramubwira ati « mbega ngo abantu barasa ntacyo bapfana ! Uzi ko usa neza neza n’umugabo wanjye wa gatatu » ! Umugabo arumirwa dore ko amaso yari ayo maze abaza umugore ati «Kuki nsa n’uwo mugabo wawe ? aho nsa nawe ni hehe ? Wagize abagabo bangahe ?» umugore ati « nagize abagabo babiri nawe wa gatatu nahigaga ». - Umusazi yagiye kwivuza i Ndera noneho abwira muganga ati « buri joro ndota ndi imbere y’urugi ndusunika, ndusunika ariko rukanga gufunguka ». Muganga ati « ese kuri urwo rugi haba handitseho iki ? » Umusazi ati « handitseho ko umuntu agomba kurukurura kugira ngo rukinguke, ariko nanga kurukurura ngo bene rwo batagirango ndiba ! Uranteye maaaa ! » Muganga ati « winjiye ute hano ? » Umusazi afumyamo ariruka ! - Umugabo Kwishingana ntiyoroshye ! Yahuriye ku muhanda na banywanyi be bateze bisi. Umwe ati « Kwishingana ntiyoroshye ! Icyo akoze cyose kiramuhira yarakize. Reba nawe mu kwezi gushize yashinganye(assurer) iduka rye bukeye rirashya bamwishyura amaduka atatu yuzuye. Mu cyumweru gishize yashinganye umubiri we aho yakinaga umupira ahita acika ukuguru. Wabonye inkoni ya zahabu afite ? » - Umupadiri w'umuzungu yasomeye misa abakristu bo mu Busasamana. Baza kugera aho baririmba ya ndirimbo yitwa "Yezu waje kubana natwe." Hari igitero bagezeho rero gituma padiri agwa mu kantu, kuko bose icyarimwe baririmbaga ngo 'ndaco tugira kiri kiza, n'indege ndazo dufite, nditubasha kugira neza...." Padiri ati "oya murekere aho, ntimwirirwe mukomeza." Si bwo padiri asubiye muri sakristiya akiyambura imyambaro ya misa. Abakuru b'inama ya paruwasi baza kumureba, ngo bamenye icyatumye ahagarika misa. Padiri ati "bimaze iki gusomera misa abantu ngo badashobora kugira neza kuko badafite indege? Jyewe ubwanjye ntimwabonye ko ngendera mu modoka ishaje? None abantu badafite n'amagare batangiye kuririra indege, bakagerekaho no kubiririmba mu misa, ngo niyo mpamvu badashobora kugira neza?" - Ngo abayobozi b’Amerika, Ubwongereza n’u Rwanda batemberereye mu muriro utazima. Bagezeyo Minisitiri w’intebe w’Ubwongereza yibuka ko hari ubutumwa bwihutirwa ashaka kugeza ku Mwamikazi. Ni bwo afashe telefoni bavugana iminota itatu : kubera ko mu muriro utazima ngo ari kure cyane, yaje kwishyura miliyoni eshatu z’amafaranga y’abongereza. Perezida wa Amerika ubwo na we yahise yibuka ko hari akantu ashaka kubaza Umunyamabanga wa Leta, ni bwo na we agiye guterefona, akoresha iminota itanu bamwishyuza miliyoni enye z’amadolari. Perezida w’u Rwanda na we yibuka ko hari icyo agomba kubwira Umujyanama we yasize i Kigali, ajya kumuterefona, bavugana isaha yose. Ni bwo bamwishyuje amafaranga ijana y’amanyarwanda. Abandi bati « bino bintu birimo ikimenyane : bishoboka bite ko uvuze igihe kirekire ari we wishyura make ?’ Nuko nyiri cabine telephonique ati « kuki mwirengagiza ukuri mukuzi kandi mukubona neza ? Ntimusanzwe muzi se ko n’ubundi appel local ihenduka ? Hano ni muri enfer, n’aho uyu mugabo yaterefonnye ni kimwe ! Mwebwe zari appels internationaux ariko we yakoze appel local ! - Umugabo Bazumvampehe yagiye ku kazi yasinze, noneho umukoresha we Gasyampeke ararakara cyane, ati koko nta soni ufite zo kuza ku kazi wasinze? Undi rwose urandenganya ibi byose ni muganga wabiteye! Umukoresha we ati nonese muganga ni we wakwinitse mu nzoga? Undi rwose ejo nagiye kwa muganga mbabara mu nda, noneho anyandikira umuti ngomba kugura; ariko uzi ukuntu nawe bandika. Icyo nabashije gusoma ku rupapuro rero ni ahanditse amacupa abiri, n'ahandi handitse gatatu ku munsi. Urumva nawe ibyakurikiyeho. - Umugabo yagiye kwa muganga yahiye amatwi yombi, noneho muganga ati ariko ese ubundi ubu byakugendekeye bite? Undi wahora n'iki wa muganga ko telefone yasonnye ndimo ntera ipasi, noneho nakwitaba nfata ipasi aho gufata telefone! Muganga ati nonese amatwi yombi yahiye ate? Umugabo ati umva da! Nonese sinagombye guterefona hano nsaba rendez-vous!? Ni uko muganga arumirwa.
Ku mugore
wanjye nkunda…
Umugabo yagiye muri hoteri asangamo mudasobwa (computer) ahita yihutira kwandikira umugore we yari yasize mu rugo ubwo yajyaga mu rugendo rw’akazi. Agiye kurwohereza yibeshyaho gato e-mail y’umugore we ayohereza ku mugore wari wapfushije umugabo uwo munsi. Uwo mugore wari wapfushije umugabo yabaye akiva gushyingura umugabo we nawe yihutira kujya kuri mudasobwa yibwira ko wenda hari abo mu muryango we baba bamwandikiye bamusaba kwihangana, ariko akimara gusoma ibaruwa ya mbere ahita yikubita hasi. Maze umuhungu we aje amukurikiye asanga kuri mudasobwa hariho ibaruwa igira ati: Ku mugore wanjye nkunda cyane, Impamvu: Nagezeyo amahoro Ndabizi ko bigutangaje kubona iyi baruwa kuko utakekaga ko nabona uko nkwandikira ariko nasanze ino naho basigaye bafite za mudasobwa. Kandi bemerera abantu kwandikira abakunzi babo. Ubu tuvugana maze akanya gato ngezeyo, banyeretse icyumba nzabamo, gusa irungu riranyishe ngiye kukwitegura nawe ejo uzaze, ndizera ko uzabona abaguherekeza nk’uko nanjye mwamperekeje, bizu ni ahejo. Uzagire urugendo rwiza. Isekere! Bamwe babyita “Urwenya”, abandi babyita “Byenda gusetsa”, hakaba n’ababyita “Nyereka inyinya” Uko wowe waba ubyita kose, n’iyo wamwenyura gusa, uba uruhuye ubwonko. Umwarimukazi yatanze ikizamini cyo kuririmba, mu mwaka wa kabiri w’amashuri abanza. Kuririmba ni kimwe mu byo abana bakunda cyane, ku buryo mu kizamini hari n’abaririmbaga, indirimbo, yaba itararangira akaba yatangiye indi.Dore ko no kuririmba abana babikora nk’umukino batibuka ko ari n’ikizami. Benshi baririmbaga za zindi z’abana zimenyerewe nka: * Mbe Kanyamanza keza, ko mbona wishimye,… * Iyo tugenda kuri gahunda,… * Icunga, icunga ni igiti gitangaje,… * Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,… * Mama Sipesiyoza yazanye amata,… * N’izindi ziva inda imwe n’izi zo hejuru Mwalimukazi ageze ku kana kamwe k’agakobwa kaba karahagurutse, kagendana ibakwe gatangira kuririmba n’ijwi riranguruye ari nako gakora ibimenyetso (gestes) bijyanye n’indirimbo, mwalimukazi arumirwa agwa mu kantu! Ako gakobwa kati “… Urwo ngukunda sinaruhishahisha, Nzaruvuga hose,ni urw’igiciro cyinshi, nzarwambara ku manywa, nijoro ndwiyorose, …” Umwarimukazi aba aravuze ati ceceka! Umwana ati sinyizi se mwali? Undi ati “Ibyo uri kuririmba ni ibiki, urwo uvuga uzambara ku manywa nijoro ukarwiyoroza ni uruki warumenyeye he?” Ubwo umwarimu ntiyiyumvishaga ukuntu agakobwa k’imyaka umunani kaba kazi iby’urukundo bigeze aho. Akana kamusubiza katajijinganga kati “Si ururingiti se?” Umwalimu atajuyaje yagahaye atanu kuri atanu ati genda wiyicarire. Abandi bana basigara mu rujijo batazi iyo biva n’iyo bijya! Ese wowe urwo ruringiti waba urwiyorosa iwawe/iwanyu? Ese ku manywa waba urwambara? Niba nawe ushaka ko tumwenyura, gira icyo wandika hasi aho mutangira ibitekerezo.
Urwenya:
Ubwo umugabo yajyaga gusaba umugeni atazi Ikinyarwanda
Umugabo yagiye gusaba umugeni atazi Ikinyarwanda, gusa akaba azi ko agomba gukoresha imigani ya Kinyarwanda isanzwe kuko yari azi ko imigani yose isobanura kimwe, ko bihagije ko haba hari amagambo ari muri iyo migani kandi ahuye n’ ayo yakoresheje mw’ ijambo avuze. Uti:” byagenze bite rero?” Nyir’ ugusabwa umugeni (umusaza Karekezi) yatanze ikaze asaba umukwe mukuru(umusaza Kanyamibwa) gutambuka agasoma ku nzoga babazaniye ngo amanure akavumbi. Umusaza Kanyamibwa agiye kuyisomaho aravuga ati: «Murakoze muzehe Karekezi kutwemerera gusoma ku nzoga n’ubundi baca umugani ngo “ushaka urupfu asoma impyisi”» abari aho bose bagwa mu kantu bagira ngo aribeshye! Hashize akanya imisango iba iratangiye, Umusaza Kanyamibwa ahabwa umwanya ati: ” …umusore wacu yabaye aho ashaka mu gihugu hose umugeni yashima nyuma aza gushimana n’ umukobwa wanyu, burya mu Kinyarwanda baravuga ngo: “Ubuze inda yica umugi”, abari aho noneho barumirwa. Arakomeza ati: ”Yambwiye ko yashimanye n’ inkumi yanyu kandi murabizi ko mu muco wacu bavuga ngo: “Nta nkumi yigaya kuko n’ irwaye igisebe iravuga ngo izarongorwa”, rero yasabye umubano umukobwa wanyu nawe arabyemera adatinze dore ko baca umugani ngo “Utaranigwa agaramye agira ngo ijuru riri hafi. None rero nk’ uko umukobwa wanyu yiyemereye kubana akaramata n’ umuhungu wanyu, kandi mu Kinyarwanda bakaba bavuga ngo “Urwishigishiye ararusoma” niyo mpamvu twabazaniye inkwano,……… Kuko: ”ubuze uko agira agwa neza”. Umusaza Karekezi, nk’ umusangwa mukuru aba afashe ijambo ati: “Ntituguha umugeni wacu dore umukobwa wacu aracyari umwana kandi ga aracyari mu mashuri ngo yongere n’ ubwenge(aha ni kwa kundi abasaza baba bari kugorana mu misango). Nuko umusaza Kanyamibwa, mu gusubiza arihanukira ati: ”Rwose mugerageze muce inkoni izamba, nibyo koko umukobwa wanyu aracyari umwana burya murabizi baravuga ngo: ”Ntukabone ifundi ngo uyite umwana w’ inyoni, rwose umuhungu wacu azamurera kuko akuze kandi murabizi burya ngo: “Ubugabo si ubutumbi”, hanyuma byo kuba ari n’ umunyabwenge rwose ni byiza natwe umuhungu wacu yaraminuje kandi ga baravuga ngo “Utazi ubwenge ashima ubwe”. None rero musaza Karekezi twiteguye kubaha inkwano amashyo y’ inka yose mushaka , dore nawe urakuze ngirango urazi ko “Uhongera umwanzi amara inka”. Uhagarariye umuryango usabwa arumirwa, noneho ibyo gusabwa birahinduka bati: ”Nta mugeni wacu tubaha kuko muducira amarenga ko umwana wacu twaba tumuroshye”. Umusaza Kanyamibwa mu gusubiza aciye bugufi nk’ utakamba ati: ”Rwose muvandimwe Karekezi, abakuru bajya bavuga ngo “Ukwimye ibishyimbo aba akurinze imisuzi”, none rwose nimutwemerere tubakwere dore “akatari amagara barahaha”. Umuryango uratsimbarara uti: ”Nta mugeni tubaha yemwe ahubwo nimwitahire muri gutinda muzababwire batume undi abe ariwe uza gusaba umugeni“. Umusaza Kanyamibwa mu gusubiza ati: “Yego rwose turemeranya burya “Intumwa n’ uwayitumye barangana”, kandi “kuntuma ni nko kwituma cyangwa kwigirayo”. None rero “utakwambuye aragukerereza “ Mumpe umugeni rwose. Ariko mumumpa, mutamumpa , Mumenye ngo “N’i Nyagasambu rirarema”, mwitwima umugeni rwose mba ndoga Fundi. abari aho bose bataha bazinze umunya. RYANGOMBE NTIYICA ---------------------------------- Kera mu Rwanda habagaho ibihe by’inzara nka RUZAGAYURA RUMANULIBABA GAKWEGE n’izindi………….. Abantu bagasonza bamwe bagasuhuka abadahunze inzara yabarembya bagashaka ukuntu bajya kwiba mu bakungu. Abo bakungu bo babaga barahunitse ibishyimbo amasaka ibigoli akavura kaba kaguye bagatanga imyaka abantu bakabahingira bakongera bakeza ibitoki, ibijumba n’ibindi……….. Aliko bakizera ko babikesha RYANGOMBE bakabandwa bagaterekera. Abantu bajya kwiba ibitoki mu milima yabo umukuru w’umulyango agakoranya abantu bo ku musozi bose bakaza kurahira kugirango bamenye uwibye kubera gutinya RYANGOMBE abenshi barafatwaga bakishyura bakaba ruvumwa ku musozi ngo ni ibisambo Bukeye SERWILI na ZIMULINDA biga ubwenge bwo kuzajya biba ibitoki kandi bakarahira RYANGOMBE ntibice. ZIMULINDA abwira SERWILI ati dore uko tuzabigenza mu gicuku uzajya uza tugende nitugera hafi y’imilima nzajya ngushyira ku rutugu ufashe umuhoro ujye ugenda utemagura ibitoki byitura hasi. Umunsi wo kurahira wowe uzarahira uti: Jyewe SERWILI aya maguru yanjye akigera akandagira mu milima ngo ngiye kwiba ibitoki iyo RYANGOMBE inyice. ZIMULINDA nawe agatoragura bya bitoki abivana mu milima bakikorera bakitahira .umunsi wo kurahira nawe ati: Jyewe ZIMULINDA aya maboko yanjye akigera afata umuhoro agatema ibitoki iyo RYANGOMBE inyice. Ibitoki barabyiba byinshi uko bashoboye mu gitondo induru ziravuga ngo abantu nibaze bashoke barahire RYANGOMBE SERWILI na ZIMULINDA bahageze mu bambere Aliko abantu barabakekaga batangiye kurahira bose bategereza ko bagiye gufatwa cyangwa gupfa bararahira nibapfa bataha bakubita agatwenge. Batara ibitoki ibindi barateka kwiba babigira umwuga . Bukeye bahishije urwagwa batumira inshuti yabo RWAJEKARE barasangira bamaze gusinda SERWILI arirahira ati:mba ndoga RUKARA rwa BISHINGWE reka mbabwire abapfumu baratubeshya RYANGOMBE ntiyica. Bibaye byiza ubwo musetse!! Umugabo umwe yigeze gusurira abantu mu kabari, bamurebye ati:ese murandeba iki; ahari umwenge ntihaca umuyaga!?" Bumvise abashubije gutyo barumirwa maze baraturika baraseka, nawe arongera ati:"ntubona ahubwo; bibaye byiza ubwo musetse!" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Byagenze
bitya!
Umugabo yakubise undi urushyi maze ajya kumurega bageze aho baburaniraga barababaza bati byagenze bite? Ni uko wa mugabo ava hasi akubita mugenzi we urundi rushyi ati byagenze gutya |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Wari ufashe
iki ?
Umusaza yagiye gutera urubariro hamwe n'umukecuru we, noneho burira urutara batangira gukora ibyo bifuzaga, maze bimaze kugera hagati wa musaza yaje gusunika cyane maze wa mukecuru yitura hasi, maze wa musaza amukankamira agira ati:"Ubwo urabona nk'ubu njye ko nari nyifashe wowe wari ufashe iki ngo turinde twagwa!" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Zigenda
zitya !
Abagabo babiri bagiye kuburana inka; bageze mu rukiko umucamanza ati:"Izo nka muburana zigenda zite?" Maze umwe muri ba bagabo arunama atangira gukambakamba ati:"Zigenda zitya!" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Amabinga
Umugabo w'amabinga yahuye n'ufite amenyo maremare maze ufite amenyo maremare ati:"Mu bw'inturo amasaka areze(ashaka kumuvugiraho ko afite amabinga nk'inturo)". Undi aramusubiza ati:"Areze ariko isatura ziyamereye nabi(amuvugiraho ko afite amenyo nkayisatura)!" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dusabe...
Umukobwa witwaga Dusabe ngo wari wiyiziho ko ari igitangaza yagiye mu misa none ngo padiri avuze ngo "Dusabe...." Mu gihe atarakomeza undi ati:"Karame padi; ese nawe wamenye ko ndi hano!?" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Guma aho
nzane n'undi!
umugabo imodoka yamugongeye umwana noneho wa mushoferi kubera ubwoba amuha 5000frw. Ubwo rero kuko uwo mugabo yari umukene abwira wa mushoferi ati:"Guma aho njye kuzana n'uwasigaye mu rugo!". |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Imboyo
Umwarimu yabajije abana gutanga amagambo arimo igihekane "mb" umwe muri bo ati:"imboyo". Mwarimu yumva atabyihanganira amutuma ababyeyi. Ubwo rero se yaje kuza bamusobanurira ko umwana yavuze ibitavugwa, ahita ava hasi amukubita urushyi ati:"Niko wa kagoryi we sinakubwiye ko bavuga "Imboro"!? (mwarimu we yari yiteguye ko umwana ahanirwa kuvuga amagambo mabi) |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Nanjye
sinatashye ubwawe!
Umusaza yabwiye umwuzukuru we ati:"Mwana wanjye mbabajwe nuko ngiye kuzapfa ntatashye ubukwe bwawe!" Uwo mwana aramusubiza ati:"Ntibikubabaze kuko nanjye sinatashye ubwawe!" |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Gupima
inyama
Umugabo yagiye mwisoko kugura inyama
agezeyo abona aho bari kuzipima arabaza ati iki kiro ni nyama?
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umwana
uhetswe
Umugore yari yasinze aheka umwana we
wumuhungu amucuriste agiye munsi yurugo kwihagarika amusimbije akora mukanywa
agaruka avuza induru ati umwana wanjye yabaye umukobwa kandi yari umuhungu.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Inzu igenda
Umugabo yagiye mukabari kunywa amaze
gusinda arataha ageze hanze abona amazu aragenda yicara hasi ati iyanjye iransanga
hano!
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Isosi
itukura
Umugabo yagiye gusura bantu agezeyo
asanga bahishije akomanze bahisha ibiryo munsi yameza ubugari ni nyama zifite
isosi itukura bihumura cyane. baricara bigeze aho umugabo ati reka rero
mbabwire ibyago twagize kurugendo. tugeze mwikorosi twahuye nikiyoka kinini!!
cyari gifite umutwe munini wanganaga naburiya bugari buri munsi yameza ijisho
ryayo ryatukuraga ni nkiriya sosi iri hariya munsi yameza nuko bahita
babizana barabirya!
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umugabo
w'umukristu
Umugabo wari umukirisitu yagiye kwirega ibyaha ..."Nibye igitoki cyo kwa kanaka ...naciye inyuma umuturanyi wanjye ....", hanyuma padiri amuca icyiru . Umugabo ataha yishimye rwose ,yumva yakize , ndetse afata n' umugambi mwiza , ku cyumweru abyukira mu missa ya mbere . Padiri ageze igihe cyo kwigisha atangira kwigisha abakiristu uburyo bakwiye kwifata ..."Ntimukibe ni bibi ...Gusambara ni icyaha gikomeye ...." ...Umugabo aho yicaye atangira kubyimba ...Umujinya urazamuka ...Bagiye kubona babona ahagurutse yijujuta asohoka ari kuvugira mu matamatama ..."Puuu , sinzabagaruka ...ariko ubundi koko nabikubwiriraga iki ?? Ubundi uri Mutabazi tuva inda imwe ??". Ubwo ahita yisubirira ku idini rya gihanga . sinjye wahera ! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umwana
utuzuye mumutwe
Umwana utuzuye mu mutwe yaryamye ku gitanda , bigeze mu gicuku aratota , arahanuka yikubita hasi. Ubwo arabyuka , arikandakanda asubira mu buriri . Hahise akanya arongera ararota arahanuka yitura hasi , hamwe yituye uwa mbere ....! Noneho arabyuka araseka cyane yishimye ngo "mbega Imana ngize weee , ubu iyo mba ntahagurutse ngo nsubire ku gitanda mba NIGUYE HEJURU...". |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umugabo
n'umugore
Umugabo n'umugore bariho batera urubariro, bari ku rutara rwabo, umwana wabo muto abaryamye iruhande. Mu gihe bari mu byabo, umugore yumva umwana ararira kuko yari yaguye hasi. Abwiye umugabo ngo nareke ajye kumureba, umugabo aramubwira ngo : "Mwihorere inyundo incura abandi iracyakora neza, kandi nawe urabyiyumvira". |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umugabo
wakundaga inyama
Umugabo wakundaga inyama yasize umugore we agiye kubaga isake mu gitondo , ajya ku kazi !! Ariko aho ari mu mirimo yicara arota rusake .... Kera kabaye nko mu ma saa tanu aradomoka arataha , ageze mu rugo asanga madame agiye kugura ubufu , urugi rwari rwegetseho ! Umugabo yihina mu gikoni , inkoko ayihera mu maguru ....ayitapfuna yitonze ,...ayigeza ku gutwi ....Reka kuvuga igufa , nyamugabo n' amajanja yarayanuye...n'ibikohwa , umenya ntacyo yasize inyuma !! Arangije asohoka ntawe umubonye arigendera !! ...Hagati aho ariko indangamuntu ye yari mu mufuka w' ishati yari yaguye mu isafuriya , ariko umugabo w' amerwe ntiyabibona ! Nyamugore arataha , arebye mu isafuriya asanga hibereyemo isupu gusa ...Inyama zagiye hehe ?? Mbaza nkubaze !! Cyakora agize amahirwe abonamo ya ndangamuntu , yitegereje neza abona ni iya patron. Na we arayarura , ayishyira mu gisuperi ukwayo , ubundi arinumira ! Umugabo ataha saa sita induru ari ndende ngo arashonje umugore azana isupu , n' ikindi gisuperi ku ruhande gipfundikiye neza ... Umugabo ntapfunduye cya gisuperi ahita yiyamirira ...."Ye baba weee ....Ariko koko uyu mugore nzamwigisha ngereze hehe ?? Sinakunwiye ko IYO UMUGORE AKARANZE INKOKO CYANE , BIGERA AHO IGAHINDUKA IBYANGOMBWA BY' UMUGABO WE ?? "... Ni uko umugabo yirira isosi gusa ! Sinjye wahera ! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umugabo na
Petero
Umuntu yarapfuye,noneho ageze hahandi ku muryango munini,ahasanga wa mugabo uli kwizamu,ayobora abapfuye aho bagomba kujya(umwe bita Petero) Nuko Petero yereka wa muntu amuhitishamo aho yifuza kujya. Arabanza amwereka muli PURGATOLI,wa muntu ahakubise amaso asanga impinja ziralira,zirannya,ziraruka,ati aha ntabwo nahaba. Petero arongera amwereka mw'IJURU,asanga mw'ijuru bali muli za DAWE ULI MW"IJURU........za NAKURAMUTSA MALIYA.......nandi masengesho menshi,mbese abona harakonje ,aaaabaza Petero ati mbese ntahandi?nuko Petero amwereka mu MUMULIRO UTAZIMA,ahakubise amaso,asanga harashyushye,arebye abona ibyokezo biliho za Broshete,abona abantu barabyina,baraceza,abandi baranywa inzoga z'amoko yose,abandi begetse abagore ku bibambasi barakora amahano,abandi barareba za video zo gusambana,mbese urusaku ali rwose mu mpande zose,mu kanya akabona umuntu araguye,mu kanya akabona ibibombe bilisuka ubudatuza,Aliko cyane cyane agashimishwa nuko ibintu byose yabonaga bishyushye. Nuko wa muntu abwira Petero ati:urakoze kunyereka hano,igendere aho njya nahageze.Nuko umuntu yigira mu MULIRO awita IJURU. Ngaho nimugire amahoro. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Umwana kwa
Padiri
Umwana w'Umuhungu yagiye kwa Padili gushaka Penetensiya,mbese kwicuza ibyaha. Nuko umwana abwira Padri ati:"NASUZUGUYE ABABYEYI BANJYE"Padri aramubaza ati wabasuzuguye gute? Nuko umwana aramubwira ati iwacu bambujije"GUSHINGA GATEBEGATOKE"ngo ntzavunika.Padri rero yali umuzungu,ayoberwa gushinga gatebe gatoke icy'alicyo.Noneho Padri abaza wa mwana ati:wabinyereka se?Umwana ati cyane rwose.Nuko umwana asohoka mu ntebe ya Penetensiya ajya mu kirongozi;aratangira alihenantura,amaboko hasi amaguru hejuru,Padili ali mu kadilishya amwitegereza,nuko umwana ararangiza asubira mu ntebe ya Penetensiya. Nuko Abakecuru n'Abasaza mbese abantu bose bali bali ku murongo,kugirango bashake Penetensiya babonye ibyo umwana akora barumirwa barayembayemba bose barataha bagenda bavuga ngo yewe;ngo ntawashobora gutanga ikiru kimeze kuliya padri yahaye uliya mwana,noneho ugiye gushaka Penetensiya yasanga hali wa mu Padri agahita yitahira,atekereza ko amubwira gushinga gatebe gatoke. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Noheli
yegereje
Noheli yegereje , umugabo ajya gusaba Penetensiya. Aricuza ibyaha byoseee , ariko ntiyavuga ibijyanye n' inkoko za Padiri. ... Padiri :"None se warangije kwicuza ibyaha byose ??? " Umukozi: "Yeee , narangije Padi ...." Padiri:"None se ni nde unyibira inkoko ????" Umugabo:" hmmmmm?? Ntabwo numva neza! Subiramo! " Padiri:"Ninde unyibira inkoko ??? Amasake yanjye ni nde wayamaze ??" Umugabo: "Padi ....Ntabwo ndi kumva rwose! Reka tugurane , uze hano , nanjye njye aho ....noneho mvuge nawe wumve !! burya iyo umuntu ari hano ntabwo aba yumva neza !! " Padiri aremera , baragurana. Umugabo noneho nawe arabaza: Umugabo: "Padi, ninde ujya gushuka umugore wanjye iyo ndi ku kazi ???" Padiri: " Euuuhh.... hmmm ....hmm??? Ntabwo numvise neza ..! Subiramo, numve ! " Umugabo:"Nakubajije ngo ...Ninde unca inyuma iyo ndi ku kazi ??" Padiri:"Ariko uzi n' ikindi ?? IYO UMUNTU ARI HANO , BURYA KOKO NTIYUMVA NEZA !! ...reka duhindure nguhe absolution, tureke gukerereza abandi bategereje !" Umugabo abona absolution ye ! Sinjye wahera ! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Kwambika
ibara
Umugabo utazi igifaransa yagiye muri france,noneho bamushakira umusemuzi. baravuga bagera naho bavuga kurubyiruko , noheho wa mugabo utazi igifaransa ati:abana b iyi ngoma bagiye kuzatwambika ibara. umugabo abwira umusemuzi ati ngaho babwire icyo bishatse kuvuga mu magambo macye, wamusemuzi ngo agire ngo arasemura nawe ati ca veux dire que les enfants de ce tambour vont nous habiller la couleur. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Ndigaramiye
Umugabo yagiye gusangira inzoga nabandi mu kabali, mu kanya gato ziba ziramugaritse zimutura hasi munsi y'ameza, arangije abwira bagenzi be ati: izo nzoga mu kanya zirabica nigaramiye!!!!!!!!!! |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Mayibobo n'amata
Mayibobo yamanutse kumuteremuko imodoka iba iramuhushuye irikomereza agwa igihumure, noneho umugore w'umunyampuhwe aba aje yiruka gutabara ahita abwira umuntu wari hafi aho ati simbuka ugure amata hariya tumuhe turebe ko ahembuka, mayibobo nawe aba aritaye mu gutwi niko kongeraho mu kajwi gato ngo na ka keke!!!!!! Kwiyandarika Umukobwa wiyandarika yabuze coaster imuvana i Kampala ngo imugeze i Kigali maze yiyemeza gutega lift. Ku bw'amahirwe ikamyo irahagarara iramutwara. Iyo kamyo rero yaje guhura n'ibibazo bituma barara mu nzira kabiri kose. Bari kugera i Kigali, umukobwa aba aravuze ati "buriya ejo nzahita njya kwicuza icyaha cy'uko nasambanye gatatu". Umushoferi, ati "kereka niba hari undi mwaryamanye kuko jye ndibuka ko ari kabiri gusa!" Umukobwa amusubiza ababaye cyane, ati "ubu se koko turatandukana tutongeye?!"
|
Ibyo uvuga biteye iseseme.
Umuntu yatoye abagabo arega mugenzi we ko iyo
bigeze nijoro amuzira ku rugo akumviriza ibyo avuga. Nuko mugenzi we yiregura
avuga ati:"Wa mugabo we urambeshyera. N'iyo uvuga ku manywa numva biteye
iseseme, none ngo ndaza kumviriza ibyo uvuga bumaze kwira !"
Navugaga umwami Yezu !
Umusaza yagiye kuburana, mu rubanza hagati aza
kugira ati:
- Ndarengana mba ndoga umwami !
Abacamanza bati:
- Wa musaza we ko wirahira umwami ntuzi ko
bibujijwe ?
Umusaza arabasubiza ati:
- Navugaga umwami Yezu !
Ubwo bakoma ubantahirize !
Umusaza yahuye inka ze ahura n'undi aramubwira
ati:
- Ese izo nka zawe urazerekerana he ko iwacu
bakoma ?
Undi ati:
- Nahoze ngirango ndagerayo mbasuhuze none ubwo
bakoma ubantahirize, uti nawe araho !
Uraho bendera we !
Umusaza yanyuze kuri komini bazamura ibendera
ntiyahagarara arikomereza. Umupolisi aramuhamagara ati:
- Yewe wa gasaza we ugenda utaramukije ibendera
!?
Umusaza arahindukira ati:
- Shyuuu ! Mwana wa ! Ibyo tubipfe ? Uraho
bendera we?
Zashira zite tutaziriye ?
Umucamanza baramubwiye bati:
- Kuki urya ruswa kandi zaraciwe ?
Na we ati:
- Umva re ! Zashira se zite nyine tutaziriye !?
Kuki mucuruza ibiryo byagaze ?
Umugabo wari ku rugendo yaje kugera ahantu yumva
inzara iramurembeje, kuko yari yagenze urugendo rurerure, nta kabari abona,
nuko agize Imana aba abonye akabari, akinjiramo ahita atumiza ibiryo, bije
ahita abyahuka aratangira ararya. Hashize umwanya uringaniye, inzara imaze
kwibagirana, nuko yumva bya biryo bihumura nabi, ndetse byaragaze, ahita ahamagara
nyiri akabari amubaza amukanika ati: "Kuki mugabura ibiryo byagaze ni
ukubera iki ?" Undi ahita amusubiza ati: "Si ukubera se nka ba mwebwe
muza mukererewe, mwagiye muza bigishyushye !!"
mpyisi zahuriye mu nzira...
Impyisi zahuriye mu nzira ziraramukanya;
Imwe iti:
-Ndi ryinyo ry' impindu rimira impinja!
Indi iti:
-Ndi ryinyo ry' umusoto rimira umusore!
Indi iti:
-Ndi ryinyo ry' umugera rimira umugeni!
Indi iti:
-Ndi ryinyo ry' umukaka rimira umukambwe!
Ruhanamirindi.
Hari mu nzara, nuko umugabo Ruhanamirindi ajya
gushaka aho yabona amahaho. Ku bw' amahirwe atahana ifu y' ubugari. Ageze iwe
ategeka umugore guhita ayiteka yose.
Ubugari buhiye, umugore abugabamo ibisate
bikwiriye abana n' umugabo we, nawe nyine yisigira igisate cye. Ruhanamirindi
arya igisate cye, arahaga ndetse asigaza igice kitari gito, ndetse n'abana
n'umugore bose bari bashigaje, ariko Ruhanamirindi yari yashigaje igisate
kinini kubarusha. Nuko aribwira ati: "Ko mbyuka nyuma y'abandi, none nazasanga
banguraniye, bakandira igisate ko ari cyo kinini?" Nuko aba yungutse
inama: Igisate cye acyandikaho izina rye " RUHANAMIRINDI ".
Bukeye agiye kureba igisate cye, induru ayiha
umunwa; ahamagara abana n'umugore arababaza ati: "Ko igisate cyanjye
cyaryamye ari RUHANAMIRINDI, none kikaba kibyutse ari RUHANA, ubwo MIRINDI
yagiye he?"
Umugabo w' igisambo II
Umugabo yakugiriye mu gikoni asanga ubugari mu
isafuriya, arabubatura abwirukankana ajya kuburira mu masaka. Ibyago bye, aba
akubitanye n' umugore we wasoromaga imboga zo kurisha ubwo bugari, nuko ahita
amubwira ati: " Mpa ubwange mburye mbukunda iyo bugishyushye !"
Murware amavunja !
Umugabo ukuze yumvise abategarugori babiri
bavugana, umwe avuye i Kongo undi ajyayo, noneho ujya Kongo abaza uvayo ati :
"Iriya ivunja rigeze kuri angahe ?" Undi aramusubiza ati: "Ni
588 ." Wa mugabo arita mu gutwi ageze iwe ati: "Gusirimuka na byo nta
kigenda bana ba ! Murware amavunjya kandi uwo ivunjya rizajya rigeraho ajye
aritereka turigurishe ryakuze"!
Ubundi se urapima iki ?!
Umuntu wari ufite umunzani yahuye n' uwikoreye
ibishyimbo bombi bagana isoko, maze nyir' ibishyimbo abwira nyir' umunzani
ati:" Ntiza uwo munzani nipimire uturo nshoye !". Nyir' umunzani
aramusubiza ati: "Umunzani wanjye utawica urarwaye !" Nyir' ibishyimbo
ati : "Ko wumva urwaye ndaba nywica nte?" Ati : "Humura ntacyo
utu dushyimbo tuwutwara ni tubiri !" Undi nawe aramusubiza ati:
"Ubundi se urapima iki ko uzi ko ari tubiri !"
OMA WUMVE URASEKA !!!!
Byavuye mu IMVAHO NSHYA
... Nuko baba bavuye i Kigali berekeza ku
Gisenyi. Umugabo ariko n'ubwo yari mu modoka imwe n'uwo mugore kandi bicaranye,
ntaho bari bahuriye, ndavuga ko ntacyo bapfanaga. Barakugendeye sinakubwira
umugabo yegamye mu gituza cy'umugore yifashishije ko babyigana.
Bageze kuri Nyirangarama Mobile y'umugabo
iravibra (ndavuga gutigita). Aka ni ka Nokiya kabanza gutigita mbere yo
kuririmba. Uwahamagaraga nawe asa nk'aho nta mafaranga yari afite kuko urebye
yarabipaga. Aba ngira ngo ni babandi bakubipa wabahamagara bakakuguza amafranga
!...
Reka nikomereze.
Nokiya rero ivibuye nyamukobwa ajya mu gicu
n'urusaku rwinshi ati shoferi hagarara. Abantu bamwe bari hafi kwifatira
agatotsi abandi bisomera ibinyamakuru, ariko buri wese yarashidutse kubera
urusaku rw'uwo mukobwa. Shoferi nawe yahise afunga feri ku buryo bwihutirwa
yibaza icyo uwo mukobwa abaye.
Abantu bose bitegereje uwo mukobwa watsuraga
imyenda arunda mu gituza no mu kwaha no kunda. Shoferi ati ni iki
uduhagarikiye? Nyamukobwa rero, ugereranije yari afite n'igituza gitubutse, ati
tugende ariko niyamye umuntu ugenda ankirigita!
Umugabo wari umwicaye iruhande yaramwaye cyane
ariko agira n'ikibazo cy'uko atari yamenye ko ari mobile ye "YATIGITIYE MU
GITUZA CY'UMUKOBWA"; Abantu bagiye barebana ari nako wa mukobwa areba
ikijisho uwo mugabo bari bicaranye ngo yarakajwe n'uko yamukirigise.
Abantu bageze aho batangira kwisinzirira abandi
bongera kurambura ibinyamakuru ngo bongere bisomere. Imodoka yarakomeje igeze
hafi y'ibere rya Bigogwe, umugabo barongera baramubipa. Umurabyo uratinda
nyamukobwa yagiye mu gicu amanukana igipfunsi no mu gihorihori cy'umugabo ngo
tiku, aba amufashe mu mashati arakuruye aba amukubise urushyi.
Umugabo yahisemo kwicecekera ariko abagenzi bo
ntibanyurwa bafata wa mukobwa bamubaza icyo ahora uwo mugabo. Umukobwa avugira
hejuru ati "munkize aya mazirantoki ngo ni umugabo ugenda ankirigita
inzira yose nk'aho ndi inshoreke ye!" Aba amusingiriye mu ijosi
baramumukiza.
Umugabo yarakomeje ariyicarira areba wa mugore.
Twakomeje kwibaza ibyo aribyo biratuyobera. Umugabo nawe ntiyari azi ko ari
mobile ivibra noneho igakirigita umukobwa, kuko yari mu ijaketi kandi yari
yayambuye. Iyo mobile rero yatigitiraga ku mukobwa umugabo ntabimenye.
Uko abantu bajyaga impaka imodoka yarahagaze
abantu barasobanuza, umugabo arahakana umukobwa akabyemeza, umuntu arongera
arahamagara noneho mobile irongera iratigita. Umukobwa niwe wayibonye mbere ati
ehe ati nimurebe yagize ngo ndacyahicaye none atangiye kwikirigita. Abagenzi
rero barashika babona ijaketi iratigita nk'uko bisanzwe, ariko mobile yatigise
kabiri iba irasonnye. Abantu bose ngo kweeee, ese mama yari mobile yavibraga!!
Umukobwa yaramwaye ku buryo yicaye ku yindi ntebe
n'ubwo abantu bose bari bamwanze. Imodoka igiye kugera ku Gisenyi umugabo wari
wicaranye n'uwo mukobwa wimutse yagize atya ava mu rushyi ngo tsibu, abantu ngo
eh ngo wa mukobwa nawe arakubiswe.
Bahagaritse imodoka bati bite se kandi? Umugabo
ntiyatinze ati uyu mukobwa arimo kunkirigita. Abantu bose barasetse ariko cyane
abonye uriya mukobwa bari bazi ko ari umurwanyi ntacyo ashubije.
Icyo yazize ni iki ? Ngo ni uko imodoka yageze mu
binogo uko ijya hasi ijya hejuru IBERE rya wa mukobwa rikavibura hanyuma
rigakirigita wa mugabo!!.
(Ababika mobil zanyu hafi y'ibituza by'abagore
babandi rero muritonde... Ariko rero n'ab'ibituza binini si byiza kubyegereza
abatabifiteho ijambo.)
Umwana na nyina
Umugore yagiye kwa muganga ari kumwe n'umwana we,
noneho asambana na muganga umwana aramubona. Bukeye umugore ajya ku kazi,
umugabo yasigaranye wa mwana, nuko umugabo nawe asambana n'umuyaya wa mwana
areba.
Nuko nyina atashye umwana atangiye kumubwira ibyo
se yakoze, undi ati "Tegereza tugeze kumeza"
Bacyigera kumeza:
Umwana : Mama mvuge bya bindi?
Nyina : Yego mwana wa!
Umwana : Papa yakoze nka bya bindi wakoranye na
docteur kwa muganga!!!!!!
N'aho Miseke ndarwana !
Umugabo Miseke yajyaga akubitwa n'umugore we.
Bukeye umugore aza gutwita, ni uko Miseke ahengera inda imaze kuba nyarwege,
umugore atakibasha kunyeganyega, ati nkagukubita rero mba ndi Miseke!! Umugabo
arihanukira agiye gukubita urushyi umugore aba ararwitaje, amukubita igipfunsi
umugabo aba aratembagaye. Ahaguruka yiruka, ati n'aho Miseke ndarwana ; umuntu
urwana n'umwana na nyina !!!!
Imitwe
Umugabo yahuye na mugenzi we bataherukanaga, ngo
akaba yari avuye muri mitingi y'abiyamamarizaga kuyobora u Rwanda , niko
kumubaza ati: " Ariko se n'ibyo amashyaka yadukoreye, wowe
uracyayagenderamo?" Noneho undi asa n'uwikanze ati: " Vuga gahoro wo
gacwa we hatagira ukumva, ntitukivuga amashyaka, tuvuga imitwe!" Umugabo
araseka cyane ati: yewe niba ari byo uvuyemo burya nawe wataye umutwe koko !
ugeze naho kujya kumva abo banyamitwe, ubwo ni ukuvuga ko abatetsi bayo hari
igihe tutabwiwe ko beze bityo tukaba tugomba kubirinda"?
Kuva mu bwana
Umusaza utakigira amenyo yasanze umusore ari
gukina n'abana aruta ati: "Ariko shahu uzamenya ko ukuze ryari ngo ureke
gukina n'abana"? Umusore nawe ati: "Umunsi uzamenya ko wakuze ukamera
amenyo!"
Urava he ukajya he?
Umwana yaraguye atangira kuvirirana amaraso mu
mazuru, nuko yigira inama yo kujya kwa muganga, ageze mu nzira ahura mu mugenzi
we ati: "urava he ukajya he?" undi ati : " Ariko shahu nawe uri
umushinyaguzi, ubu ntureba ko mva mu mazuru nkaba njya kwa muganga!?"
Jo konkoboke une ville Ruhenjeri !
Umushoferi yakoze impanuka agonga umuntu
aramuhitana. Noneho abonye abajandarume baje gukora igenzura, ahita
atanguranwa, n'ubwoba ati:
- Jo konkoboke une ville Ruhenjeri; jo regarde
kumureba à gauche nsanga arahari, à droite nsanga arahari, jo le gonge, jo le
mort, jo le pfe !! Umufaransa, umunyaportugali n'umushinwa bafashwe na ba bantu
barya abandi (reka tubite ba "nyamuryabantu"). Ni uko umutware w'abo
ba nyamuryabantu arababwira, ati:
- Imboro zanyu zose hamwe nizireshya na
santimetero mirongo itanu ( 50cm ) ndabareka mwigendere.
Ni uko bapima umufaransa: santimetero makumyabiri
n'eshanu ( 25cm ).
Bakurikizaho umunyaportugali: santimetero
makumyabiri n'eshatu ( 23cm ).
Hanyuma bapima n'umushinwa: santimetero ebyiri (
2cm ) !!!
Santimetero 50 ziba zirusuye, ubwo rero
amasezerano aba arabakijije, bararekurwa, barataha. Bagenda ntawe uvugisha
undi. Biratinda, umushinwa ageze aho ati:
- Iyo ataba jyewe, tuba turiwe pe!
Abandi ntibasubiza. Hashira umwanya, umushinwa
bimwanga mu nda, maze arongera ati:
- Iyo nza kuba ntashyutswe ubu rwose tuba dutunze
ku mishito!
Jye mfata umwana
Umugabo yifatiraga ku mukobwa wabakoreraga mu
rugo, ariko umugore ntarabukwe na rimwe. Nuko rimwe umugabo aza gusohokana na
wa mukobwa. Bageze muri restaurant bafata ibyicaro. Hashize akanya gato servant
aba araje. Umugabo atumiza ibyo ashaka, noneho bigeze kuri nyamukobwa servant
aramubaza n´ibyubahiro byinshi cyane ati < Murafata iki > ? Umukobwa ati
"jye mfata umwana" Servant aba amenye ko ari patoro wasohokanye n´
umuyaya
felicitate´ na Margarita
Aba babyeyi babiri inshuti yabo yari yibarutse
umwana. felicite n´uwo mudamu wari wabyaye bari barize ariko Margarita we
atarize. Felicite na Margarita rero bajya gusura inshuti yabo kwa muganga.
Bacyigerayo rero Felicite ahobera uwo mubyeyi, nuko aramubwira ati
"FELICITATION"!!!!!!Margarita abyumvise ati reka tour yanjye iraza.
Ntibyatinda rero nuko felicite baba bamuhereje umwana. Margarita ahobera
umubyeyi , maze n´ibyishimo byinshi cyane aramubwira ati "
MARGARITATION"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Penetensiya y'impyisi
Impyisi yagiye gusaba penetensiya, nuko ibwira
Padiri iti:
- Padiri rwose nariye intama z'abandi.
Mu gihe Padiri agitekereza ibihano agomba guha ya
mpyisi, iba
ibonye intama zarishaga hafi aho, iti:
- Padiri ngirira vuba na ziriya zitanshika!!
Abasaza bahuriye mu nzira
Abasazi 2 bahuriye mu nzira umwe abaza undi ati:
"Amakuru ki ?"undi ati: nsize radiyo yenda kuyarangiza" Arongera
ati : "Ndakubaza niba uraho ? " Undi ati sindaho ahubwo ndi
hano"
Byose ndanywa!
Umukobwa yakuviriye iwabo mu cyaro ajya gusura
umusore w'inshuti ye mu mujyi, nuko umusore aramwakira aramuzimanira. Amuha za
fanta orange, za fanta citron, ndetse na za martini, barya za pizza, za keke na
za gateaux.... Ubwo bumvaga n'umuziki wo hirya no hino ku isi, bigeze aho umusore
abaza umukobwa, ati: Ari iz'amaduse, ari n'iz'amazuke ukunda izihe? Umukobwa
ati : Byose ndanywa!.
Iyi mvura ni gati ki ?!!
Umugabo yaranyagiwe maze mu kwinyakura ngo ajye
kugama aranyerera akora mu mazirantoki ntiyabimenya, hashize akanya yikora
kumazuru yumva umunuko ati: " Noneho iyi mvura ni gati ki inuka bigeze aha
!"
Umusaza na radiyo
Umusaza yavuye kugura radiyo maze akigera mu rugo
byari bibaye mu masaa sita na mirongo ine n'itanu haba haje mo amakuru bahera
kuntambara yo muri Angola bati : "Hagati ya Do Santos na Savimbi biracika
". Nuko umusaza n'umujinya mwinshi ahita ayikubita ikibando ati:
Nyakuvunumuheto ko ubeshya muri Angola wagezeyo ute ko ari jye nakwikuriye mu
iduka uyu munsi?"
Wajyanye se agacuma?!
Umwana yabujije nyina amahwemo ngo najye
kumugurira amarwa , maze rero kubera ko nyamugore nta mafaranga yari afite ati:
"Ese njyaneyo iki mwana wanjye ?"Umwana nawe ati: wajyanye
agacuma?!"
Kidahenda
Hari nyine muri bar i Kigali.. Bacuruzaga
byeri,hanyuma impande hakaba akumba k' umukobwa wapangaga ku manywa gusa, ku
buryo iwabo batarabukwa. Nyine nyuma ya 20h za nimugoroba yaratahaga. Ise
w'umukobwa rero yitwaga Gaspard, nuko rimwe aza kuza muri iyo bar. Ubwo abagabo
barinjiraga abandi bagasohoka. Nuko bakaza biyamira nyine n'akayoga kabaga
karimo nyine. Muzehe Gaspard rero yumvise ukuntu bagenzi be baza bishimye
aravuga ati : ariko uwajya kureba icyo gitangaza ra!! Umusaza arakebuka abona
harijimye, namwe murabona saa moya zo mu rwatubyaye nyine. Nuko arinyabya kwa
mukobwa aratangira akazi. Umuzehe icyuya kiramwuzura, ariko ku mukobwa we yari
ananiwe n'amaguru yatangiye kumurya. Niko gutangira rero araniha !AH, AH, AH,
AH, AH ARIKO GASPARD KOKO WAMBYARIYE IKI?
Ibyakurikiyeho namwe
mwibaze...........................
Inuma n' ikiyoni
Inuma n'íkiyoni byagiye kwiba amasaka ku
kidasesa, ariko nyiri amasaka yari yateze umutego, kubera inyoni zari
zaramujujubije. Izo nyoni uko ari 2 rero ziratangira zirarya, hanyuma nyiri
amasaka aje yirukana ikiyoni, kuko abantu bose bazi ko inuma zitiba, ahubwo
ziragira. Nyiri amasaka yongera kwinjira mu nzu gato, agarutse asanga inuma
gugugugugu yariye sinakubwira. Nuko ahita afungura umutego. Inuma igerageza
kuguruka ariko iba yafashwe. Aho ikiyoni kiri kiratangira kiti :
GAKRUUUUUUUURRRRRR' UGACE!!!!!!!!!. Inuma nayo iti : NDAKRURA NKANYA, NGO
NINKURURE NGACE? GAKRURE NYOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Ayasho! Ayashongore!
Ibiragi bibiri byarahuye biraramukanya, kimwe
kibwira ikindi kiti:
- Ayasho!
Ikindi kirasubiza kiti:
- Ayashongore!
Kimwe kibaza ikindi kiti:
-Ese uko njuga ni ko ujuga!??
Je t'aime!
Abana b'abanyeshuri bajyaga kwiga, ni uko umwana
w'umuhungu
yegera umwana w'umukobwa aramwongorera ati: Je
t'aime! ( aribyo bisobanura " ndagukunda"). Umwana w'umukobwa
ariyamirira ati:
Urantema nanjye ndagutema ku izina ry'Imana!.
Mti ya Rwanda yoyote ni makare!!
Ikizungu cyatembereye muri parc national
y'Akagera, noneho cyumva gishatse kunnya, gihagarika imodoka, kirasohoka kijya
ku gahuru kirahabyiturura. Kirangije gishaka kwiheha, ni uko gifata ibisusa
kitazi ibyo ari byo, gikubita mu mwoyo maze ibisusa birakibaba, kigaruka mu
modoka kishimagura kivuga mu giswayire ngo " mti ya Rwanda yoyote ni
makare !!!" ari byo bishatse kuvuga ngo "ibiti by'u Rwanda byose
birakaze."
( Ubanza ubwa mbere cyarihehesheje ibisura !!)
Umva igikoma!
Umunsi umwe umugabo yaratashye asanga umugore
ahishije igikoma, aramusaba umugore arakimwima ati igikoma ni icy'abana na
nyina. Umugabo abura uko abigenza, abandi banywa igikoma areba.
Bigeze mu gicuku baryamye, umugore yumva abajura
bari ku rugi bashaka kurumena ngo bibe. Ni uko umugore akomanga umugabo
aramwongorera ati: Umva igikoma! Umugabo n'umujinya mwinshi ati:
- Gakome nyoko! Igikoma utampaye ku manywa ugiye
kukimpa muri iri joro!??
Abasazi babiri batemberega
Abasazi babiri baratemberaga, umwe atoragura
akabuye agaterera hejuru karagaruka aragasama, aragapfumbatiza, ni uko abaza
mugenzi we, ati:
- Fora aka mfumbatije ni agaki ?
Undi ati:
- Ni akamodoka !
Umusazi wa mbere aba ararakaye, ati:
- Ni uko cyari cyakabonye !
Intama yasetse ihene ngo ntigira ikariso
Intama yasetse ihene ngo ntigira ikariso.
Ihene irayibaza iti:
-Ese ko unsetse ngo singira ikariso,
wowe ko utagira mouchoir!?
Intama iti:
-Nayitumije iburayi!!!!